Abortion Queen: A Statement by U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. It should go something like this: "I Kathleen Sebelius, after talking to Obama on AF1, have decided to pull back on the plan to give abortion pills to kids because even though we cherish killing babies above all else, the 2012 election is less than a year away and we can't appear to be the ghouls that we are. But if we win in 2012, you betcha there will be an abortion pill in every girls lunchbox from grade 4 on."